This week in In Pursuit of my Art Ed Degree…
I discovered the limitations and drawbacks of being an autodidact. For years, I’ve been experimenting with different media while making my art. I’ve told myself it doesn’t really matter if I know what I’m doing or not, because I’m pursuing creativity. I’m just not convincing myself anymore! Ignorance is no longer bliss. The more techniques I’m learning, the more I’m enjoying the process and artistic output.
In class we get to share and discuss all our images and the question that continually pops into my head when fellow students describe their photos is “Did you make that up after you took the shot, or did you really intend what you just described?” In truth, I don’t ask this out loud, because I feel I would also have to answer the question. In my process, I edit and name spontaneous shots after I’ve taken them. The creativity part for me, is in the post production. That’s where I listen to the image to tell me the story.
Does this make my work less authentically creative? Am I an imposter artists? I sure as hell hope not!
In my other classes, these past two weeks we have been diving into the authenticity of images and what is art. In truth, we have been learning how to question, not define them. My love of art has always been in what I see, feel, and the stories I imagine when seeing. The actual techniques fascinate me, but also leave me feeling different degrees of insecurity and motivation. Art has never been definite for me! Part of me always enjoys what is slightly out of reach in the artwork. Perhaps that is why abstract work inspires the most joy in me.
It occurs to me now that authenticity is irrelevant in art. What matters is more emotional. I’m still struggling with the understanding of what makes art “political” and if all art is actually “political” by nature, because it seeks to express a perspective. The artist always has some agenda. Be it as small as accurately portraying what they see, to evoking dramatic reactions, they always seek to connect in some fashion. My current definition of politics in regards to art is foggy, indecisive, and confused. Hey, that is what my teacher said political art does! It depicts the tensions of uncertainty. Crap! That is now both clearer and vaguer to me. Maybe I don’t need to fully understand this one. Maybe I can embrace the chaos of emotions and role with it… or just ask questions.
Onward we go, into the understanding and accepting of unknowing. Well, I knew there had to be a reason for me to get into Art Education. At the very least it is another journey of self-knowledge and self-acceptance. Perhaps it is the journey towards becoming more whole. I always believe I could only give the best of myself when I was fully whole. These days, I give myself a little more grace in this “fully whole” concept. I’m now embrace the good feeling of becoming… a better me.