“Crooked Crown: The Ultimate Royal Backstab” – Poetcore Shakespeare: The Bard for Gen Z

(T.A.E.’s LitBites) – A modern retelling of Richard III by William Shakespeare

So here’s the vibe: the war is finally over. The long, messy family fight known as the Wars of the Roses is done, and the York family is on top. Peace, right? Everyone should be chilling.

Except one guy.

Richard.

Richard, Duke of Gloucester, is not exactly the kind of dude who blends into happy endings. He’s sharp, sarcastic, super smart—and honestly kind of bitter. He’s physically different from everyone else, and he’s spent most of his life feeling like an outsider. Now that the war is over and everyone’s celebrating love, weddings, and sunshine, Richard decides something.

If he can’t be happy… nobody else will be either.

So he looks straight at the audience (basically breaking the fourth wall) and says, yeah, I’m going to become the villain. Not by accident. On purpose.

Step one: chaos.

First target? His own brother, King Edward IV. Edward is king, but he’s sick, and Richard sees opportunity. Richard spreads a rumor that Edward’s other brother, George—the Duke of Clarence—is somehow destined to betray the king. Edward panics and throws Clarence in the Tower of London.

Richard pretends he’s sad about it. Like, “Oh wow, poor brother Clarence. Tragic.” But behind the scenes, Richard hires two goons to take Clarence out.

They literally drown him in a barrel of wine.

Yeah. Brutal.

One brother down.

Next up, Richard decides to flex his manipulation skills in the most unhinged way possible. He meets Lady Anne, the widow of Prince Edward—the guy Richard helped kill in battle. Oh, and Richard also helped kill her father-in-law, King Henry VI.

So when Anne shows up at the funeral… guess who’s there?

Richard.

Anne is furious. She calls him a monster, a murderer, basically the worst person alive.

And Richard’s response?

He flirts.

Seriously.

He spins this wild story about how he only killed her husband because he was so overwhelmed by Anne’s beauty. Somehow—through insane confidence and nonstop wordplay—he convinces her to marry him.

Yes. The woman whose family he destroyed… agrees to marry him.

Richard walks away like, “Wow. That actually worked.”

Meanwhile, King Edward IV is getting worse. Everyone’s trying to make peace in the royal family, but the tension is thick. Richard plays the friendly helper, acting like he just wants harmony.

Then Edward dies.

And suddenly the throne is wide open.

Edward’s son, young Prince Edward, is supposed to become king. But he’s still a kid. Richard is named Lord Protector—the guy who’s supposed to help run things until the prince grows up.

Instead, Richard starts playing the ultimate political game.

He arrests people who might oppose him. Lord Hastings—one of the king’s loyal supporters—gets accused of treason in a meeting that basically turns into a surprise execution. Like, they’re talking one second, and the next second Hastings is dragged out and beheaded.

Richard spreads rumours that the young princes are actually illegitimate. Basically saying, “Sorry, they can’t inherit the throne.”

Then he puts the two boys—the princes—into the Tower of London.

And after that…

They disappear.

No one sees them again.

The whole kingdom whispers about what happened, but everyone kind of knows the truth. Richard wanted the crown, and those kids were in the way.

Soon after, Richard stages the most fake “reluctant king” performance ever. His supporters beg him to take the throne. He pretends to say no a couple times—like he’s humble—but eventually he’s like, “Fine, if you insist.”

Boom.

King Richard III.

But here’s the thing about ruling through fear, lies, and murder—it doesn’t exactly win you a lot of friends.

People start turning against him. Even the allies who helped him climb to power begin to regret it. Richard’s paranoia kicks into overdrive. He orders more killings, including the death of his own wife, Anne, because he’s thinking about marrying his niece for political power.

Yeah. It’s getting dark.

Meanwhile, across the sea, a challenger rises: Henry Tudor, the Earl of Richmond. Henry gathers an army and sails to England, ready to take Richard down.

The two forces meet at the Battle of Bosworth Field.

The night before the battle, Richard has a terrible dream. The ghosts of everyone he’s murdered—Clarence, Lady Anne’s husband, the young princes, Hastings, and more—show up in his nightmare.

They curse him.

Then they appear to Richmond and bless him.

When Richard wakes up, for the first time, he’s shaken. The confidence cracks. He realizes he might actually be the villain of his own story.

But it’s too late now.

The battle begins. Richard fights hard, charging straight into the chaos, determined to kill Richmond himself.

But his luck finally runs out.

His horse is killed in the fighting, and Richard ends up trapped on the battlefield.

That’s when he shouts the line that became legendary:

“A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

No horse comes.

Richmond’s forces surround him, and Richard III—the guy who schemed, lied, and murdered his way to the crown—dies in the dirt.

Richmond becomes King Henry VII, uniting the rival houses and ending the Wars of the Roses for good.

And just like that, the ultimate villain arc comes to an end.

Moral of the story?

You can hustle your way to the top… but if your whole strategy is betrayal, manipulation, and chaos, the crown probably won’t stay on your head for long.