“What are you reacting to? Ask yourself that question every moment of every day when your peace is disturbed.”  By Kenneth Wapnick

What of I actually did this everyday? What would happen? The answer is that I will achieve a greater awareness and understanding of the source of my black clouds. I come across this advice in many forms before and somehow it just didn’t break my skin, much less sink in, until now! The picture gives you a hint, this is what you might want to meditate on everyday, until change comes and it will. 

As many of my readers surely see, I’ve been nurturing a really fantastic mid-life (um, I mean existential) crisis for a few years now. After reading this quote I realized that I was purposefully keeping my woes in the dark where they have flourished like some poisonous fungus. Putting them in the light of awareness will eliminate the poison from growing. My peace is disturbed and I’m tired of it! I want to know why. My blackness is about self-pity, self-doubt, and regret. All handy habits, if my goal was to destroy myself. Well, I see you now, you thought-fungi, and I’m opening the window to let the light in on you. Do what you want with it. 

The start is to remember all I’ve learned about looking with our self-judgement, accepting the existence of what I see without dwelling on it or seeking rationalizations for it, then just letting it be. Follow this with allowing thoughts of what I want instead to flow through my mind without getting attached to them. 

What’s in your darkness?

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