“Mistakes are proof we are trying.” From johnbiccard.com
This one shook me a little more than I expected. I had to stop and think if I was making mistakers anywhere and what they might be. Is procrastination a mistake of sorts? Perhaps it is. I have a project to do that involves writing something I have no interest in. It would only be about forty hours of work and really doesn’t require too much energy or emotion. The only thing is I really don’t feel like doing it, so I’ve been dragging my feet. Simply put, it’s boring. Not the work, just the subject matter. So, if this is making a mistake on my part, what am I trying to do?
The biggest struggle and energy investment I’m making right now is trying to figure out what I really want… in life, work, job, creativity, etc… Perhaps not doing what I don’t want, even though it will provide some financial gain, is my way of trying to achieve what I do want. Or maybe I’m justifying my laziness or something deeper, leaving the relative (known) comfort of my unhappiness. That never really made sense to me, in that I have always dreamed of living off my creativity, not for any celebrity, but for the pure joy I get in creating. Well then, lat leaves the possibility that I’m lazy. I know this isn’t true either, well mostly.
For things I enjoy I will move heaven and earth to get them done and always feel motivated to overdeliver. For things I don’t enjoy, well… I struggle to get motivated. I easily fall into wasteful procrastination. I can’t even pick myself up to do things I love instead. I just withdraw. That always feels like a mistake and I have judged myself for it. I’m probably overthinking all this. Right now I’m determined to be happy, so anytime I procrastinate, instead of going down the rabbit hole of self-recrimination, I can accept that I’m making a mistake and that it proves I’m still trying to do something. Let it go. Let it be. Move on. Phew, that feels better.