Working out an Inspiration – T’Hed Five

See T’Hed Four for previous progressions…

As written yesterday: I’ve shifted to a thick, textured drawing paper. This is a creme coloured paper. I found some tonal Conte & charcoal sticks to play with and was uncertain about the blending, or to keep it messy. Full disclosure: I pulled my back again and it is making siting uncomfortable. I know this is distracting me from getting fully immersed in the drawing experience. I feel a need to rush through it right now. This too shall pass. As I mentioned earlier, I’m challenging myself to overcome boredom and a dislike of repetition. This does feel different from the previous ones, but some thing is missing: Intention. I didn’t give myself time to meditate and place my intention.

Yesterday, I forgot that I was also exploring self-portraits. I lost my intention. While this was drawn yesterday, I felt the need to add something to the surroundings… something contemplative. I guess that was an intention of sorts.

In evidence is not an intention, but a reflection of my state of mind while drawing this one. My teeth are clenched, both in the pain of my back spasms and possible do to a habit I seem to have developed these past few months. I think I’ve been living in an internalized state of stress. Meditation has been unfocused as well. Maybe I just need time to disconnect from doing and time to reconnect to being. Perhaps the yellow blocks floating around in this drawing are my unconscious desire to spend time outside my own head! Come to think about it, the yellow did feel intentional, as I relate the colour to positive possibility, spaciousness, and blissful freedom. Hmmm… another reminder to listen to my instincts!

I’m back to giving into unconscious intention, as long as I start with intentions on. the next one…but first it’s time to go for a long walk and let my eyes do the work over my mind. Let’s see what comes of it…

Stay tuned…