At this point in the explorations, I was feeling a little overwhelmed at how many more I wanted to do. I should say, I let myself get away from the moment of making and lost track of the blank canvas in front of me. I decided to look away from my selfies and look deep into my eyes in a mirror. What I felt there was anxiety. I still don’t like this introspection on self, even though I know it has benefits. I decided to let go and be mindful of my different feelings.
It felt like I was forcing my eyes open, which is unnatural for me, as I tend to squint a lot due to light sensitivity in my eyes. I became aware that my neck was tense and pulling my jaw out of alignment. I also noticed I was clenching my teeth very tightly. This is where I got the forced gaze and exposed teeth idea. At this awareness, I started to feel exposed and decided to leave my head bald. I stopped at the feeling around my head and face which led me to leave the black shirt on my torso. It wasn’t a conscious decision to slouch the shoulders, but it also something I do a lot when I’m feeling uncertain or uncomfortable.
I think this is a true snapshot of how I was feeling when I painted it and I feel a release in the reflective process.
Subject: Stylized self-portraits based.
Materials: watercolour paper, dry pastels, white-tinted acrylic varnish
Dimensions: 8.5” (21.6cm) x 5.5” (14cm)
Prints & more available at Arts MPerron @ https://1-mario-perron.pixels.com