From session on July 13th, 2017
Recap & Realizations since last week:
Aha moment: Awareness shines a light on our limiting behaviors and The Ladder takes it several steps further, it reveals self-understanding and our purest truth. Awareness is only the beginning. Truth is the key to all of our personal successes.
Question: How is our work together making a positive difference in how you think and handle situations?
Answer: I am empowered by the awareness of my limiting voices. I am the objective observer of their commentary and now evaluate their words with less emotion. They have less power over The True Me.The True Me is becoming the strongest voice of my being.
Question: What does this process look like in your mind?
Answer: The Ladder equips me with objective questions that change my reaction gap to any situation. I now see the emotional reaction as a separate voice and evaluate it objectively. I now welcome the questions without fear of self-doubt. The questions are clearing out the warehouse of emotional junk I had used to evaluate my perceptions of reality.
Question: How do the limiting voices interact with you now?
Answer: The Martyr, The Pragmatist, The Judge, The Pleaser, The Child, and many others now have a voice outside my head and I let them argue amongst themselves. I have become the observer of these voices and I have become less attached to their perceptions. I am enjoying this feeling immensely. I am gaining clarity from The Observer. The Observer may be The True Me.
Aha moment: What makes us sad reveals our ideal happiness. When some situation brings you feelings of sadness, anger, or discomfort… bad feelings; imagine the opposite, that is the what you truly want. The Law of Attraction tells us to focus our thoughts and emotions on what we want to manifest them. Up until today, I have resisted what I don’t want, refused to think about it, because it brought me bad feelings. In the process, I didn’t seek to see the opposite, or what I wanted instead. I threw the baby out with the bathwater. I misunderstood the lesson from The Secret about changing negative thoughts into positive ones.
“You can change any negative situation, by changing your thoughts about it! Think as many thoughts as you can that are the total opposite of the situation.”
by Rhonda Byrne
Today’s realization is that we can acknowledge that which brings us bad feelings and practice replacing the images, feelings, and thoughts with the opposite, which is what we really want.
Today’s focus: “Why I react to disappointment.”
Aha Moment in Pre-Conversation to the focus: Shifting thoughts to a growth mindset.
Being honest with myself, I have often started my statements with: “ I still do…” which creates an identification or label for myself and the universe to manifest. I now use “Part of me does…” which shifts the energy to the action instead of on my being and shouts to myself and the universe that I am greater than my parts.
What are reasons I react to disappointment?
1 – Regret: I feel regret because I let myself down by giving up.
Disappointment feels like a failure. Failure weakens me and discourages me. I want the feeling of accomplishment. I want bragging rights and don’t know how to brag about failure.
I’m frustrated and regret not listening to my logical mind that tells me failure is a result to learn from. I feel like I’ve let myself and others down by giving up.
Reflection: I’m feeling another voice talking. It’s a laughing, tingling, and joyful voice telling me to enjoy my failures and know they will make me grow.
Realization: I’ve been denying, resisting, and avoiding failures only to feed my comfort zone because it is the easier path and offers instant gratification. There is no lasting happiness or growth there. There is a weakness in it.
Question: What is the payoff of being weaker?
Answer: I permit myself to withdraw into fantasies of Little Me. Little Me lives in a safe place where wonderment always overcomes challenge and failure. He never has to learn how to do anything; it just happens. He also never has to experience judgment there, because he never has to expresses himself.
Realization: The True Me wants to express himself and the fantasy world is a place that only requires instant gratification; it never gives the satisfaction of learning or accomplishment.
Note: We changed direction around this point, but I’m not sure how I jumped to it. The change started with the following question: “Why do you go there instead of getting stronger and learning?” The answer seems hard to connect to the question, but a truth realization jumped out with a refreshing feeling of clarity.
“Learning from failure gives me opportunities to be creative and express myself creatively.”
Question: How is this conversation helpful?
Answer: Knowledge that my fantasy or happy place is a source of creativity, however following the Little Me there denies my need to express my creativity. The Little Me may also be The Trickster, who always works with The Judge. Going there is giving up and opens the door for The Judge to recriminate my inaction. That hurts and feel bad. It serves no purpose. I’m tricked into it.
Question: What’s the IDEAL opposite of judgement & recrimination?
Answer: Empowerment, learning, and growing.
Realization: Accepting failures as results encourages me to learn from them. Like Edison says, failures are results that ultimately lead to success. However, I fear others will not give me the time to fail and discover success. I feel anxiety at the possible expectations of others.
Question: What would be the ideal opposite of this, what is the ideal mindset to have for the next time this comes up?
Answer: Every new challenge requires a learning curve to master the solution. I can request time to evaluate and question my understanding of the challenge before offering estimates of time for completing my recommendations. What I don’t now, I can learn. I am good at asking questions that the challenger sometimes did not ask themselves.
Empowering Declaration: “SAY YES AND FIGURE IT OUT LATER”
2 – Sadness: Bad feelings, in general.
Question: What are three things about sadness that are stopping me?
Answer: Pain, fear, and contagion. Sadness is contagious. I’m not sincerely concerned about the feelings of others when I’m sad, I only want them to commiserate. This feeds the Martyr the most. The True Me doesn’t want people to be sad with me or to draw out their sadness; it wants to solve the challenge.
Question: What is the ideal opposite of this sadness?
Answer: Grace! Gifting myself the time and space needed to learn more about the challenge and the freedom to get results, both good & bad.
Question to gift myself Grace: “WHAT IS MY SADNESS OR NEGATIVE EMOTION TEACHING ME RIGHT NOW? Now, remind yourself that the opposite of this sadness reveals your ideal want.
The Ladder is a web of understandings, not just a process to a result. It allows me to be both observer and participant of my emotions. The Imagualization process takes me into a multitude of dimensions within and around me. The more I allow myself into this infinite space the greater clarity and answers are revealed. The answers gain clarity.
Related quotes for today:
“Working hard for something we do not care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.”
“Working hard requires time; time to master the challenges and acquire the knowledge. Mastery brings the joy of accomplishment. Accomplishment fulfils our purpose and passions. So, give yourself the time to enjoy your passion.”
By M. M. J. Perron