Catching & Changing my Bull S*** Patterns!
I just had a life changing coaching session and I can’t go back to the way I was, at least not without KNOWING I am doing it.
First was the awareness of my tell. That’s right, it’s the sign, both physical and mental that I exhibit, both overtly and/or inside my head when I’m bluffing. Ok, let’s call it what it is, when I’m bullshitting myself! I lift my head up and look at the ceiling. This effectively cuts my mind from my heart and the feeling of what I want gets drowned in the cacophony of my mind-chatter. I can’t manifest my dreams without feeling them. Shit! & Wow! I see it so clearly!
We ran though a couple of exercises that had me look at some tasks I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by and I found that there are two things I have accepted as normal patterns (ie: comfort zone, folks). What I’m talking about here, without going into all the details, are excuses based on fear. We went through the process for my dream of making Found – Boutique D’Art & Décor into my life’s work. She asked me my biggest challenge to making it happen. As usual, I was thinking about two answers at once and blurted out that time was my biggest. She challenged me on it with: You have time. How much time are you willing to dedicate to it?” And then I avoided the question by reverting to answer two: money.
She didn’t let that go either and turned me back to eliminating my objections to time by listing what I do have. I have time to dedicate to this most enjoyable activity, I have the space to create in my home studio & garage, I have designs ready to be built, I have ideas galore, I have a very supportive business partner who happens to also be one of my best friends, I have materials and space to produce the products, I have access to marketing help, and many other resources. So, what the hell am I waiting for? Well, I asked myself that question and felt my head go up, before answering.
She sensed it and reminded me to follow the practice of noticing my habit of looking up and say to myself, without judgement: Interesting. Then to run through the exercise of releasing excuses by the newly learned planning process. IT MUST BE DONE ON PAPER. At least for me, as I feel I’ve done it in my head and miss some parts into the black hole of my thoughts. This process can be used for every challenge we come across and every dream we have ever had to see what the core objections are and how to overcome them. In all this process, she slipped the wisdom I’ve heard many time before, but didn’t integrate into myself: “you can’t do it all alone.” Then I started seeing the patterns change. I started seeing not only when, where, and why to ask for help, but how to ask for help and how to sincerely delegate task to those with the strong skills to accomplish them.
Am I all healed, whole, and integrating all my parts? I’m happy to say I’m working on it, NOW. That was the other reveal, being in the NOW. Perhaps a topic for another day, as it incorporates Mindfulness, NLP practices (on myself, wink, wink), and eliminating these trigger words from my vocabulary: If, When, & Should. I’ve go a lot of work ahead of me and loads of angels guiding me through it. These are two more things I am grateful for. It feels good and much more is to come.