Time to stop and reflect on who I see myself as… Today a friend came over and shared what he has been building and doing lately. It’s amazing. He has planned well, worked diligently, and deserves the success that is growing for him. So, why am I feeling overwhelmed by envy and regret? Why are my thoughts running to what I didn’t do in my life? Why am I getting down on where I am at this point in my life? I want to know why I feel so lousy and how do I get out of this terrible feeling?

I sent a prayer up to the universe and the Archangel Uriel answered: “You know what do do. You are wiser than you realize, and your inner wisdom has already given you the answers that you seek. Embrace this knowledge, and trust it. If you’re doubtful, ask me to send you clear signs to validate your thoughts and ideas… “ So I did! The first answer that popped into my head was to start looking for on-line jobs that allow me to work from home. Actually, a little earlier, before I sent our my call for help, I got a call from an acquaintance inviting me to a networking meeting. I declined to go, as I have found very little financial benefit in attending. Now, I’m wondering if I’m missing some important message. My gut tells me that it isn’t where I must put my energy right now, and even though I feel filled with doubt and indecision, I must trust my gut. What else did I hear? My second thought was that I must continue this writing and blogging path… even more that I need to start setting goals for it and planning to accomplish those goals. I’m really enjoying writing and the connections I’m making with my readers, so how can I make this a clear revenue stream?

So, I started with looking at what I want to get from blogging… my “Why?”. Thank God I just finished reading Chapter 17 of Jen Sincero’s “You are a Badass”! It’s all about “How to get over your B.S. already!”. So, here I go… First, become aware of what my stories are, by looking for when I start the self-talk-put-downs including the following: “I wish…”, “I’m trying to…”, and “I want…” WOW! In the scenario this morning, I went through a litany of I Wish’s… which could be replaced with “I wish I had made different choices.” Well, I didn’t! So what, now what? What am I doing about it now? My first answer started with “I’m trying to… “ AAARRRGGGHHH!  Stop right there! I’m not trying to do anything, as there is only doing and being, not trying… well, Yoda said it best: “Try not, there is no try, there is only do!” So, what am I doing? I’m writing and sharing. I’m doing this without a clear plan or goal, so I really have no idea where it will take me. I’m lying to myself that I’m doing this to get out of one of my comfort zones. Damn the truth can be frustrating sometimes. Amazingly, the knot in my chest just loosened. Hmmmm!

So what do I want? To change all my wants to wills and ams! I am writing. I will learn how to monetize my blog. I will learn grow this writing into other business opportunities. I will value my writing at least as much as those who compliment me on it. I am a writer & a blogger. I am capable of sharing my experiences and having an impact on someone. I am knowledgeable enough to help others in need. I am able to set goals and accomplish them, then set new goals. I will earn income from writing, both directly and indirectly. How do I know this last one? It’s has already happened, so I must accept that it will happen again, if I will it to. I am currently averaging about $400 USD / month from GoRead and I would be happy to help you do the same! I can and will write an article about this topic over the next week! This article will help my fellow journeyers and bloggers, and we will all make extra income with this passion for communicating and sharing.

See what I did there? I didn’t realize I just took the second step that Jen recommends and got rid of my stories of woe and self-pity! I started with a question, went onto a goal and then an action plan. WooHoo! The know just got even looser in my chest, and have a goal. What did I really do, I replaced my self-talk with a new truth.

I have made bad choices, becomes I have accumulated a ton of diverse experiences that are now allowing me to share and help others in ways I yet to discover fully.

I’m not very good at networking in person, becomes I really enjoy meeting and connecting with people online and building those relationships.

I’m not a great public speaker, becomes all the reading and writing I do gives me the confidence to express my thoughts more clearly. I have the choice to speak on any topic I choose with confidence that I can engage in an intelligent conversation, and ask intelligent questions.

I really don’t hold a candle to this person or that person in what they do, becomes I am very good at what I do and I am very grateful for having the humility and curiosity to always learn more.

This list can go on and on, and this is what the next step requires.

1- List your old stories, old habits, old self-talk.

2- Write the false rewards you get from these habits. e.g.: I get pity from others, etc…

3- Feel the false rewards, be grateful for them, and let them go.

4- Rewrite the false stories into new positive ones. e.g.: Turn I can’t into I will learn how…”

5- Post-it your world with affirmations about these new stories.

6- Be grateful for how awesome you now are! Yes, I said, “YOU NOW ARE”! Because, now is all that matters!

Remember this?

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

― Lao Tzu

Next step is to take action! I will be making a living from this blogging and I am writing down my plan of action! I am choosing to focus on what I am doing now and letting it grow beyond my goals and plans. I am welcoming opportunities to help others achieve their dreams and goals by sharing my abilities and experiences. I will embrace my true self, as I see it in the moment, and acknowledge the value that brings to the world. Susan Cain taught me to accept that I am an introvert and the joy I get from reading, studying, learning, listening, and figuring things out are skills that bring me success. Adam Grant  taught me that I am creative and spending quality time considering solutions, or daydreaming out of the box ideas makes me an original thinker. I am wiser than I realized and I will share that truth with you, so you too can hopefully believe you are also wiser than you realized!

day-22

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